this one’s for Dad. not takin’ any sh*t from anyone

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Me and my dad 1983

25 years ago today he was taken from my life …. I miss him… I love him and will never forget how much he taught me in such a short time.

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Bedroom Eyes

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My new Brooklyn back yard

Is the path for migrating monarchs!

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Pretending I can look pretty for a day…. Meh

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Moving day….

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Another year older, another year wiser

Not going to let people tell me what to do anymore….

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Love… Before it’s been tainted by the world

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First day of rest since July 13

Refusing to leave bed….

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Driving home from Atlanta

Constant rotation after a very intense week…
Washed Out

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My dad was badass …

He made me badass!

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New friend by an amazing friend…

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Atlanta rooftop for a swim

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Somewhere in the south

Driving … I don’t know what I am doing anymore and I especially don’t know why…

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3 days til cleansing the mind

Road trip to clear my head begins soon… Then movin,Brooklyn- changes, so many changes!

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I’m finally here! Masters of Arts in Art Therapy

“What is the feeling when you’re driving away from people, and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? -it’s the too huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.”- Kerouac

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6 days til graduation… Who knew I had it in me

I found my Devine feminine …. My chakra work.

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Lenny… The protector

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Lenny watching me while I rest

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Weeping cherry….

Everything is going to be ok….

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I went outside today…

I found a magic shell

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Pre op … Not pretty

But hey what else am I going to do?

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A week and a day …

Still recovering….

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Me and Lenny in my recovery…

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Can’t imagine this is ever going to be over…

Pain hurts so much

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Let us try some healing….

Because the pain is too much….

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Lenny… Helps me while I recover…

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I’m ok …..

Home after surgery….

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Alone Again…naturally

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How could you smile, just walk away….

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healing after surgery…music makes it better almost always

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Make Me Last-The Mary Onettes-I don’t know why things have to hurt so much- why do I have to hurt so much

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supermoon…is there magic?

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the love lanuage – blue angel. sometimes a song is the only thing that keeps you going..it can be sacred….healing

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The closest we will ever be

Grad school is coming to and end… Thesis … Your Mindfulness is keeping me going, yet I still miss you JS and this is the only way I can let you know… If you’ll ever know..

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How does it feel? It is a major accomplishment!

So after a year of taking photos of myself I thought when it all came to and end I would be so thankful to not have to photograph myself again. In some ways this is true, in other ways, I miss the challenge. I also miss documenting my life and my feelings.I got much more out of this than just working on accepting my physical appearance, I found where I struggle, where my sadness lies, where my happiness is and where my heart is.I have gone back and viewed my process and progress over this past year and I am amazed by the changes that have occurred. During the process I noticed small changes, but looking back now I can see that I moved forward and regressed and moved forward again. Each time I felt there was a challenge to overcome I confronted it, much like I do with everything in life.

I confronted myself by not only looking at my body, but my emotions. It took a lot for me to show myself in some of the ways that I did. There are days I don’t like  seeing myself in the shower,most people don’t even think about “looking” at themselves in the shower, but I do. Picking apart my body piece by piece, not wanting to leave the house. So some of the challenges were not because I thought I looked good, but because I had to do it, I had to see my body and my face with and without the veils of clothes and emotions.

A few events from this past year that have impacted my life dominate some of the photos. The loss of my cat , Thom, was a major impact. He was my unconditional friend and I miss him dearly.It is still very difficult to look at the photos from that time because he was ill for so long. He brought me happiness when I needed it most.

The other major impact was the end of a long time friendship , someone I held very close to my heart. Looking at the photos from when this relationship was cut short is almost unbearable and I am surprised that I was able to document it.I still question how the ending is permanent and I think of him everyday. Some music just isn’t the same anymore without him.

While the  losses have made an major impact in my life, I can step back and view all of the positive things. I finished another year of grad school and only have thesis left(only?). I moved a friend to a better place. I reconnected with a very dear friend and cherish every moment of our time together. I took two adventures alone this year!Driving south! I made new friends, yes this is a big deal for me. I adopted a new kitty, Lenny!!!!! I got more tattoos, they are my beauty! I made boundaries with some people in my life who suck me dry, mentally and physically. I stayed true to myself! I finished a project of photographing myself for 365 days!!!

So what’s next….a photo a day everyday…but I do not have to be in it! I still need to stay creative and I enjoy documenting my life, it’s my therapy!

This will start soon, so stay tuned!!

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Day 365 good vs evil…beauty vs. ugly…me at day 365- it is a continuous struggle but one that has been impacted by my ability to see the greatness of a long journey

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Day 364 beauty in the Shadow…

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Day 363 Beauty does not come from the outside appearance of things. truth, is not only how our face and body appear: real truth and beauty are found in our mind

When you see, when you hear, when you smell, when you taste, when you touch — everything is beauty, just as it is.

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Day 362 3 days after today…I don’t know…can you see it in my eyes..I think the answer is there

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Day 361 looking at the past year is odd… this moment is what is important and I feel different

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Day 360 almost over


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Day 359 So I guess its time to start facing the facts…

This is my body and I have to accept it…This is my face and I have to accept it

This is me…do I accept it?

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Day 358 If I have nothing left …then lets start at the beginning and see how it all unfolds

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Day 357 I have nothing left

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DAY 356

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Day 355

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Day 354 healing

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Day 353 I’m tall..finally

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Day 352

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Day 351 there is progress and there is regression

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Day 350 grasping at reality

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Day 349 things will get better

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Day 348 october 11,1986 things were never same after

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Day 347 looking at my pants

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Day 346 look I have my smart glasses on but I a very tired and mentally exhausted lisa…

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Day 345 what if we die. No end and no conclusion. How could you smile…just walk away

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Day 344 “Late at night when the wind is still I’ll come flying through your door, And you’ll know what love is for.”

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Day 343 And I couldn’t find the letters that you wrote me. What did you write? Where’d you go, well I don’t know

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Day 342 i am tired and ill…it is taking a lot out of me to show these pics

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Day 340 ” all you Have to do in this life is die”

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Day 340 it’s better this way?

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Day 339 I’ll wait for you. I always will…

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Day 338 birdcage of my heart

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Day 337 things don’t feel right…I don’t feel right

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Day 336 not at full potential


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Day 335 …30 days left!

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Day 334

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Day 333 matchbook portrait # 8,952 By 0h10m1ke

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Day 332 kitty photobooth

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Day 331 death by journal articles

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Day 330 modern man in search of a soul

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Day 329 i have a hairy forearm

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Day 328 where did i go wrong?

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Day 327 my hand of feather touches

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Day 326

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Day 325 hiding rather than confronting


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Day 324 both lenny and I may have some neurological trouble…poor lenny xo

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Day 323

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Day 322 Pain

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Day 321 ANXIETY

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Day 320 THESIS

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Day 319 lookout point

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Day 318

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Day 317 the worst part is that I care

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Day 316 testing the limits…hiding the truth…keeping the secrets

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Day 315 I got the hook nose

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Day 314 better off dead…then to live without you

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Day 313 I have mini donkeys?

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Day 312 in my head

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Day 311 the presure to draw can be great…a reflection

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day 310 I am so sick of doing this and looking a myself

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Day 309 after the fall

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Day 308 this is what your arm looks like when you get an brain MRI and have a contrast IV in you…

thus I found out I am somewhat allergic to the contrast…and now my head hurts more than before. Worth it?

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Day 307 vanishing

it may seem like I don’t think about you, but I do everyday

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DAY 306 Me and my records

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Day 305 swings

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Day 304 The lake

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Day 303 I am a fool

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Day 302 feel like hell

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Day 301 My Alchemy Empire

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Day 300 Happy Birthday to me…cat mask makes everything better!

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Day 299 maybe it’s time to be reborn in someway…

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Day 298 If you don’t cry then you just don’t feel it deep enough.

I don’t know how to make it any easier…because time isn’t making it better

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Day 297

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Day 296 undercover at a wedding…

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Day 295 just beofre i left work sick…not doing well at all

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Day 294

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Day 293

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Day 292 outside by my doorstep

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Day 291 my corner…again

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Day 290 double vision

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Day 289 Fat and ugly…i don’t want to look anymore

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Day 288 what my heart wants…

is more than what my heart can handle

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Day 287 not feeling well…my head …there is something wrong still

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Day 286 I like the rain

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Day 285 Gypsy caravan begins…

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Day 284 hear ye! hear ye!

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Day 283 I’m a ninja on the dancefloor


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Day 282

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Day 281 You don’t care now that you’re gone. But do you know how much I miss you?

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Day 280 mmmm popsicle

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Day 279

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Day 278 color

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Day 277 beauty can be placed anywhere

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Day 276 Babe lying on my legs

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Day 275 in some one else’s room

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Day 274 south carolina

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Dy 273 driving to atlanta

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Day 272 I am gone

there won’t be posts for a few days…I am running away, it seems like the right thing to do…

but will continue to take photos. Check back to see the progress…

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Day 271 tomorrow I’ll be gone


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Day 270 i think you owe me some retribution

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Day 269 I can see you with my eyes shut

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Day 268 close my eyes…

gone either way

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Day 267 I guess I should know better, when it comes to falling

yes I should know better…

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Day 266 you shot me down just as I was startin’ to feel alive…

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Day 265 I tell my love to wreck it all, Cut out all the ropes and let me fall

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Day 264 and something happened on the night I last drank with you… in the neon glow

Now I don’t see you anymore.

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Dy 263 this pain makes the other go away

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Day 262 the pains of being pure at heart

I know you’re forgetting about me and there is nothing I can do about it.

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Day 261 is it only our youth we’re chasing?

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Day 260 What if we die, no end and no conclusion.






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Day 259 you came to me in my dreams and you spoke of everything

sweeter than the days that I was breathing

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Day 258 i can’t …and yet all I want to do is give up

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Day 257 Don’t go. Say you’ll stay

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day 256 sitting in this room…deep in the corner

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day 255 all that is left is a heart made of tears

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day 254 is there pleasure from pain?

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Day 253



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Day 252 there is just one thing I need to know…is it ever worth it?



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day 251 If I want to walk home with you…hearing everyword,thinking it’s true

I’ve got a secret or two, Hiding somewhere but it won’t take long

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Day 250 to know me is hardly golden

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Day 249 I was naive to think I meant anything…

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Day 248 explosions in the sky…

you and me then?

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day247 insatiable crying voracious

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Day 246 records keep me company-on my floor -waiting and hoping

reading the letters we wrote …through out all the years. They always said we’d stay gold.

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day 245 a clouded view

“You’d lay in your bed and quietly sing
And while the feeling still rings true
The words are fading, fading into
A clouded view”

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Day 244 it’s 3 am and I can’t take feeling this kind of sadness

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day 243 lost

On my way back home A chance I thought of,

Oh my favorite song Where I’d gone wrong.

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Day 242 Lost memory

And when you come around again, I could tell you everything, I don’t want to lose, Even if you’re just a friend

But if you fade away,Was it my mistake? I’m begging on my knees Recovering this lost memory

somewhere else you see, in another life, in another time

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Day 241 This is my last night, wrecking me for loosing you.

You look into my eyes you see the saddest look you’ve ever seen.
Is that really you breaking me?

The night looks like day…So please don’t say it will be alright.

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Day 240 Still you see there are tears in my eyes…

I’m not sure how much more I can’t put here…I can’t and don’t understand why and  I keep replaying it all in my mind. So many years gone…and I can’t hold back the tears

why can’t you look me in the eye…whisper “don’t cry”

when I asked you to smile for me ..I meant it…and now that’s gone

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Day 239 This may be my last post…

I don’t think I can put myself out there anymore…this is all getting to be too much and too much of me is showing through…Things never can stay the same and unfortunately I always learn things the hard way.I can’t let the tears roll down my face as I do this anymore and I can’t let go of things I don’t want to let go of… Is it fair to always see me and never see you? my struggle… my journey… my life…tears fill the pages of each chapter…

and the night…It  isn’t what it used to be…the music is gone and the beauty in sound had dissipated…it’s hard just to get by

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day 238 I can’t say goodbye…I can’t

it can’t be a final goodbye…because I can’t handle that…

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Day 237 I know it’s over

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Day 236 This whole being sick thing is really sick…

it hurts and I don’t like it anymore…

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Day 235 I went to see Band of Horses and this was my view

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Day 234

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day 233

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day 232 Psycho and faster pussycat kill kill!!!

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day 231 outside , by your doorstep

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Day 230 I think I need a new heart…

cause I always say I love you
When I mean turn out the light.
And I say let’s run away
When I just mean stay the night.

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Day 229 sadness takes over when the night sets in…the ugliness appears


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Day 228 hey I got a feeling there’s something going wrong

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day 227 at least I will aways have books

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Day 226 yup…too much wine and mustaches

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Day 225 disgust

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Day 224 Let the rain fall, i don’t care, I’m yours and suddenly you’re mine

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Day 223 I know I’ve got to realize… It’s hard when drowning in your eyes

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day 222 it’s a june night and I don’t want to feel anything…

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day 221 storms made me regress back to feet…one day I will accept

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Day 220 thunderstorms at the beach

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Day 219 twirling…because happiness doesn’t come easy

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day 218

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Day 217

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Day 216 big bottom

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Day 215 I decided to let my inhibitions go… and I have to do this because…

I have to look at myself…in order to change how I feel about myself

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Day 214 brooklyn today …tomorrow something more daring

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Day 213 it’s the cider I tell you

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Day 212 ughhh

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Day 211 What in the world would cause you any sorrow

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Day 210 the ugliness

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Day 209 it’s not worth speaking anymore…so hold it all in

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Day 208 the ugliness within

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Day 207 yes it is.


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Day 206 blog still blah…and here is my blah photo from blah work wedding…

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Day 205 Dreamhost bombed out my blog..so it looks bad now

hopefully it will be fixed soon…but here is the photo for the day

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Day 204 lenny and me at nap time

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Day 203

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Day 202 freaking out!

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Day 201 Blood in the streets in the town of New Haven

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Day 200 it’s a hard cider kind of night…feet in the grass

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day 199

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day 198

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Day 197

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Day 196

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Day 195 brothas and sistas til the end (of summer)

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Day 194

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Day 193

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Day 192 Prom…Drew as my lovely date?

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Day 191 Space….optics of the future

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Day 190

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Day 189 this is not fun anymore

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Day 188

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Day 187 if I am lost it’s only for a little while…

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day 186

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Day 185 Prom shrom….


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Day 184 草の花よんどころなく咲にけり kusa no hana yondokoronaku saki ni keri (out of the grasses the inevitable wildflowers!)

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Day 183

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Day 182

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Day 181

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Day 180

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Day 179

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day 178

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Day 177

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day 176 bobble head?

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Day 175 Rage haha

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Day 174 and now I wait…

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Day 173 before I get my head checked…What will tomorrow bring

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Day 172

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Day 171 things don’t feel right

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Day 170 so there’s something wrong inside my head..this is what it looks like through my eyes.

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Day 169 splendor in the grass

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Day 168 I see some things and others just pass on by…

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Day 167 reaching for what isn’t there

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Day 166 Engulfed in Flames

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Day 165 me & ollie

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DAY 164

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Day 163 maybe too much

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Day 162 what?

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Day 161 outside is where I want to be….

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day 160

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Day 159

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Day 158 me and roxy

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Day 157 once upon a time…

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Day 156 feet

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Day 155 after a long day…


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Day 154 oh I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you , let me adjust my glasses…

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Day 153 me & drew

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Day 152 f*ck it

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Day 151 night beach

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Day 150 swings at the beach…seem lonely

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Day 149

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day 148 sick does not look good on me.

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Day 147

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day 146 lenny meditating on my meditaion pillow

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Day 145

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Day 144 sick and blah and stupid photo….

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day 143 I may not physically be in this …but my soul is…Handmade childrens book

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Day 142 little by little it’s coming back

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Day 141 up yours

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Day 140 It’s Alive!!!

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Day 139 weird night beach shadow

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day 138 this is me…my feelings and my fire

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day 137 this is lenny…he is helping me through my grief…

I miss Thom so much…Lenny is becoming a good friend..he seems to like my arm a lot…

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day 136 Grad school = no spring break ….sucks

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Day 135 the kitchen

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Day 134 it’s not ok.you’re not ok

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day 133 jumping?

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Day 132 I’m kind of back

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day 131 ghost hand

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Day 130 a new day…a walk to the beach